Chapter 5 – “How Did You Pass the Security Check?”

“Maybe we should get their security cameras?” Moxon offered, “See if she shows up in any of their footage.”

Right after breakfast, Kirsten and Moxon came in with lots of papers.

“My phone in the room has no cord!” I told them furiously.

“Let’s just finish this cycle, then we will talk about the phone,” Kirsten said. “Tell me how you passed a Sec Check.”

“Easy. Your new e-meters don’t even work, you need to get rid of them. I passed a Sec Check in Tampa, and several Sec Checks here,” I bragged.

“Oh, they did not tell you?” Kirsten asked.

“Tell me what?”

“You flunked a question, ‘Are you here to investigate Scientology?'”

“No way,” I said, “How come they let me in the Sea Org, then?”

“That’s what we will have to deal with!” Kirsten said.

I thought for a second, trying to remember how it happened.

Christine, the Sec Checker, must have been very tired, and really wanted me to join so bad that did not checked that question properly, or just let it slide. Now Kirstin said she will deal with it. What is that supposed to mean? Canceling her certs? Retraining? Lower conditions? Something worse? Dang, Christine just got married – she should be with her husband, not in lower conditions or on the RPF somewhere. I had to do something about it.

“That was not the Sec Checker’s fault,” I said. “I’ve been practicing for a while.”

“I took the Sec Checker course pack and learned everything I needed to know about Sec Checking and practiced a lot. I have lots of lists with questions.”

“And who gave you that list?” Kirsten asked.

“Ian Waxler did,” I said. Then I realized I’m volunteering too much information and to fix that, I added, “But he printed it off of the Internet. It was already in the public domain. And he never knew what I needed them for.”

“I see,” Kirsten said. “You told us you scanned many documents.What did you do with hard copies of the documents that you scanned?”

“I shredded them all. I was assigned to shred all org’s documents and while I was doing it, I shredded mines as well.Actually, I volunteered for that job!”

Kirsten smiled “Oh, I’m sure you did!”

“The documents I could not scan, I took pictures of them and saved them on my memory cards,” I added.

“And nobody saw you doing it? Nobody noticed that all this time you were downloading and scanning documents, you did not get any job done?”

“No,” I said.

“I see. We know that you met Aida Thomas twice. And you met Eugene twice. Did you gave them documents both times?”

“No, Aida just had a few videos, and some not important things, and Eugene had a couple of videos, and a few docs – they are not important either,” I said. ”I never gave them anything of value. Everything that was important went to! Now, let’s talk about the phone cord!”

“Let us decide what’s important and what’s not,” Kirsten interrupted me. “Something you may think is not important, for us may have value. We know you had four flash drives. One you gave to Aida when you went to her house, another one you gave to Eugene to send to Nancy, and another you also gave to Aida when you gave her the bag. So what happened to the last flash drive?”

I looked at the ceiling, wishing for it to collapse and give me amnesia so I wouldn’t have to answer those questions and get more people involved, but the ceiling was looking down at me – all white and strong – and was not planning to collapse at all. I had to make up some story – quick!

“The flash drive number 4 went to some lady that I don’t even know,” I said, “I left it for her in the fast food restaurant… I think… it was Wendy’s or Burger King… and I left, she came and got it. I did not really have a chance to see her well.”

“How do you know she took the flashdrive?” Kirsten asked.

“I saw her taking it,” I explained.

“Oh, you did see her!”

“What did she look like?” Moxon asked.

“Well…” I began, “Blond, not too skinny, not too fat, not too tall, not too short…”

“Well, average then? It could be anybody!” Moxon exclaimed out of desperation.

“She said ‘blonde’ – now at least we have some description,” Kirsten reminded him.

“How does she know you or where to go?” Moxon asked.

(I did not have time to think of that, and nothing came up to my mind. How do I know her? How does she know me? How? How? How? No ideas! Facebook? Then how come I don’t know her name? They will ask me for Facebook message from her, then it will lead them to my other Facebook messages. No, Facebook is a bad idea. How do I know her?! How? Met her through a mutual friend? I began brainstorming all my friends…)

Kirsten decided to help me out. “Is she a friend of Aida Thomas?”

(What should I say? Should I drag more people into this mess? Aida is already in trouble. I will think about how to get her out of this mess, later, I decided.)

“Yes,” I sighed with relief.

Kirsten smiled.

“Tell me something. By any chance, does that woman have really large breasts? So huge that it’s really hard to miss her, or to confuse her with anybody else!?”

“No, that was not Karen!” I said firmly.

“When and how did you meet her? How did she know to meet you at the fast food place?”

“Well, …what’s today? June, the 1st? Well, on May 29th, I called Aida…” I began, plotting my story, really hoping Aida had some alibi for that evening. “I told her I have a flashdrive she may be interested in, but she told me she does not want any docs stolen from the church and she has something wrong with her leg (she always has something wrong with her leg), so she is not coming. I asked her if she knows anybody who would be interested in it, and she hooked me up with that lady. She said she does not want to get in trouble by helping me anymore, but that lady does not care about getting in trouble – she is not afraid of anybody – so she would come and get it. And she never told me her name.”

“I don’t know…” Moxon said, looking at Kirsten for guidance. “It seems to me she is just sending us on a wild goose chase. Does that woman even exist?”

“Yes, she does!” I said, trying to sound more certain. “Aida said to leave the USB drive on the table and that lady will send it to lots of people and they all will spread it like wildfire all over the Internet using fake names, and post it outside the country. Aida said she does not want to get herself involved in doing anything illegal, but that lady does not care!”

“Okay,” Kirsten said, “We will get some lunch, and you too – go eat something with the girls, we will see you in an hour.”

After lunch she came back with a lot of pictures of blonde ladies.

“Does she look like the woman who took the flash drive?” She asked me, handing me one of the pictures. I glanced at it.

“No, that’s Tory Christman!” I said,returning her the photo “she does not want me to be here!”

“What about this one?”

“That’s Candy. Candy would never do that!”

“That’s Candy Swanson?” Kirsten asked, clearly being surprised, and I realized I’d just helped them with identity recognition. Dang!

I kept going through pictures of lots of blondes, most of which I did not even know, wondering for how long they would continue this nonsense. Finally I looked at the last photo and handed them back to Kirstin, “Nope – none of them.”

Then she brought me pictures from Aida’s parties printed from Facebook and we went through all the blondes there.

“Maybe we should get their security cameras?” Moxon offered, “See if she shows up in any of their footage.”

“Don’t waste your time and money,” I said, “when I left the flashdrive, I made sure it was at the corner table – there are no cameras there.”

“Okay, here is what we will do,” Kirsten said. “Here is all the documents you took, and I want you to make four piles. Here you put everything you gave to Aida when you went to her house. Here is what was in the bag when you got caught. Here is what Eugene sent to Nancy, and here is what you gave to a blonde woman.”

Do they really think I’m a retard? I thought. All I have to do is put all top secret files, like videos of Suppressive people, videos of briefing and staff meetings, orders of the day, lists of bodies in the shop, list of students currently on course, list of freeloaders, list of blown students, list of people who owe money to the church, Captain’s BPs and all other important staff, in the blonde lady’s file, leaving Eugene, Nancy and Aida with some worthless crap nobody would miss.

“Well, it looks like blond lady scored!” Kirsten announced, looking at a big pile of papers. I realized I should make piles more even, so I added a few more worthless docs to Nancy’s and Aida’s, trying to even it up a little.

“Okay, now initial every page,” Kirsten said. Moxon came back with another document for me to sign. This time my affidavit had names.

“I can’t sign it,” I said. Remove the names, then I’ll sign it.

“But come on, we have been through this before!” Kirsten exclaimed. “We have all the evidence, even if we remove the names. We know who those people are!”

I looked through the pages. She gave me several similar affidavits, with different names. I made a childish attempt at not signing it, by distracting her and removing some pages when she was not looking, and hiding them under the table. But she quickly bent over, picked up hidden pages, and put them back in piles.

“Come on, is not it obvious? You really think I’m that dumb? Just confront it! You know you did it!” She looked through the papers I did not want to sign. “Well, well, well. What is wrong with all these pages that you neglected? How come you deprived them of your beautiful signature?”

I burst out with laughter, “They don’t deserve it!” I said. “A bunch of lies, a lot of things that I never told you, and everything I said – not even here!”

“Okay, we can fix that! What do you want to take off or add?”

I took one of the documents.

“Nothing in paragraph 1, 2, 3 and 4,” I said, reading. “Okay, paragraph five – you forgot to mention, all people I called from Aida’s phone told me not to do it. Aida was in the kitchen. She did not even know who I was calling; she was making me lunch… and make sure you write this down – that all those people I called told me never call them again.”

“Did any of those people know about your plans before you called them?” she asked me.

“No! Of course not! I even was not sure I could get in the Sea Org, so I did not want to get their hopes up!”

“Okay, what else?”

“Number six. Ian Waxler never gave me any Sec-Checks himself. His e-meter broke down. He sent me to some guy named George, and all Ian did was just have me get the question list that he printed out from the Internet – that’s all. It’s not a crime to give somebody something printed out of the Internet that is already a public domain.”

“Okay, we will fix it. What else?”

“Take all this part about Karen out, because that’s not true. And also, you did not put that Scott Gordon changed his mind and told me not to do it – that stealing docs was a bad idea but I did it anyway!”

“Is that it?” she asked.

I kept reading the affidavit – racking my brains out – to find ways to make it less damaging.

“Oh, here is another thing. You wrote here that Nancy Many accepted the zipped folder. Make sure you fix it and write here, ‘She accepted it without knowing what it was.’ That’s extremely important, because why does she has to get in troubles when some crazy people send her privileged information against her will and don’t even tell her what was in that folder!?”

Kirsten left, then came back with the rewritten affidavit. I read it. “You forgot to mention that Scott Gordon changed his mind!” I reminded her. “And Nancy!”

“Ah, yeah, let’s go and re-write it again. Let’s kill some more trees!” she exclaimed, like it was supposed to make me feel guilty. But she went to do as she said.

She came back with the affidavit, and only then I finally signed it.

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